Never mention getting better

I shouldn’t have said anything about getting better. I’ve basically regressed to where I was a week ago. I can’t sleep through the night, have a racing heart, and am weak. My doctor is taking it a lot more seriously now since I’m entering the six week or so of this. I’m getting an echocardiogram on Thursday to make sure my heart is fine (though the other tests indicate that it is and that my heart rate and blood pressure are symptoms of the overall problem). I also gave a bunch more blood today for more tests, including a blood culture to make sure that I don’t have an infection in my blood, which would explain some symptoms.

In many ways, it is pretty scary though my doctor says that I shouldn’t freak out and that it isn’t life threatening from what he sees. It is really uncomfortable and the sleeping issues are baffling (even to him). He’s given me medication to help me sleep, which I really don’t want to take but will since after three weeks without regular sleep, it is weighing on me quite a bit.

At this point, I don’t expect to be going to Berlin in a little over two weeks. That is disappointing since I was going to the biggest hacker conference in Europe as part of my work and R and I were going to spend a few extra days in Berlin seeing the city. I’m trying not to get too anxious about being sick for this long with no clear idea of what is wrong but it is very draining. This is the longest that I’ve been sick in my entire life and I’ve only previously been sick to a much less degree for a couple of weeks once.

At this point, I encourage any so inclined to include me in their dedications, prayers, what-have-you, for a speedy and healthful recovery from whatever is wrong with me.